All the singles ladies(and single guys) this break down is for you.
Question: Are you prone to making list of EXACTLY what you are looking for in a future spouse? Literal must haves, as in ,"if they aint got it, they dont qualify!". ? Guess what, I am definitely one of those!! Last week the man I man currently dating and I had a huge wall between us, it was a weird unseen energy that was preventing us from growth, or a possible relationship. #1 Reason I never never allow a guy to make it past "dating " me.....he didnt match my list! Pathetic I know, but I am a saboteur, and its just how I roll.
Now, I asked my current beau why he was so closed off all the sudden, and wouldnt you like to know his reason? I didnt make his LIST!!!! hahahahaha I love it! I did something bold and asked what specifically, why didnt I make "the cut"! The reasons were as pathetic as mine. #1 I'm not blonde #2 Im not a serious swimmer #3 While I am in the choir, I am not the female vocalist he envisioned by his side. Now in all fairness, here is why he didnt make my LIST: #1 under 6ft #2 doesnt have brown eyes #3 Not a serious entrepreneur #4 He is an athlete( in the past athletes I dated were D-bags).
So what was the end result? The feeling of being able to breathe, to laugh at each others ridiculous "standards", and ability to look at each other and say" Let us trash our list, and give each other a chance".
I propose you use your "lists" as more of a game of go-fish. Like, " I will get rid of my height standard, and trade you for your hair color standard. GO!" or " I am willing to let go of my eye color standard, and fish for a man with a killer smile. GO!"
BREAK DOWN YOUR LIST, AND.........GO FISH !
PS we are still dating :)
4 comments:
The list is nothing more that a shitlist.
We are so inclined to make it over the 20+ years we live that our hearts become set on them.
There are only a few necessities, the rest are just benefits.
Well said. ;)
Treelana,
I learned my lesson with the "list" when a man read mine (from my journal) and then made himself into that man. We got engaged (I was 24 and dumb) and he screwed me over (meaning he emptied my checking account). After that, I never made a list again. I guess I always had an idea of what I was looking for but I was open minded. Then I met my Daniel.
It doesn't need to be so hard, it just needs to be right.
love you,
Kat
p.s. Sorry if I just blabbed too much...
zach, well said my dear, shitlist indeed!
Kat- I love it.....adorable...keep blabbing babe
These lists sound like minutia when they should be the big stuff. Things like, does (s)he follow the Spirit? Is a Temple Marriage the ONLY possibility?
On a side note, if you've seen your future spouse in a vision, sometimes the vision doesn't care about details like eye color and height. People often look different in spirit form.
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